I’m stuck on blog topics. Really. So, I found this and scrolled down to #37 - I Have the Craziest Uncle Ever.

Because, I honestly do.

I can remember being five years old and getting ready for church. A scary, Seventh-Day Adventist Church. I was eating my usual chocolate oatmeal (regular oatmeal with Nestle Quick) and watching Jem and the Holograms. I think. It was on Saturdays, right? Anyway, my grandma and grandpa were arguing about their lack of money. The argument continued and I watched my cartoon. My Uncle Rick sat muttering to himself while plugging his ears with his fingers.

Fast forward to us coming home and discovering that my Uncle Rick was not at the house. This was not a good sign. He never left the house alone because…he’s crazy. I later found out that he tried to rob our downtown bank with nun-chucks of all things. First off, he can’t speak English too well. Secondly, nun-chucks. He was robbing the bank because he heard my grandparents (his parents) arguing about money. He was trying to help them, which is nice and all, but robbing the back was not the way to go.

The charges were dropped, of course. He was released into my grandmother’s custody and has continued on his crazy ways…

• Uncle Rick once threw a piece of (unused) toilet paper at The Boy because he dislikes him.
• He’s knocked on my door a few times and ran away, so that when I answer, no one is there.
• He also kicks and screams at door…while we’re inside.
• He talks (yells, really) to people that aren’t there.